Clueless High School Graduate, Passionate Worker

If you are a clueless, recent high school graduate and not sure what to do next, Calm Down. It is perfectly normal to have no idea what to do next or what field of study to go into. If you were to generally ask adults, they would probably tell you that when they were your age, they too could not exactly tell you what they liked doing.

“So, I’m good at math, so I think I’ll do something related to that… hmmm… accounting, maybe? Or maybe engineering?”

“Yeah, everyone says I’m good at writing and drawing. That’s why I took journalism.”

And here we begin the cycle of students enrolling in university or college in courses that they will eventually drop out from.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with changing courses or switching fields, IF you’ve found, at some point that you are probably better at something else and it changes the sails to that direction - Congratulations! But don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that good mathematicians aren’t or can’t be passionate engineers or accountants.

Finding out what you are passionate about is no easy feat. It is an intricate process and it is hard to identify even when it is staring right at you in the face. We often let our anxious thoughts, perceptions and false expectations blind us into doing something else than what we are excited about.

We just end up being ‘good’, and we don’t push for ‘great’.

(psst.. It is believed that people going through midlife crisis usually find themselves asking themselves the meaning of life and figuring out that they never enjoyed the job they’ve been doing all their lives.)

There is no highway or paved road to finding out what you’re passionate about, but here are some things to keep in mind:

1. Just because you’re good at it, doesn’t mean you like it.

Most of the time, we equate what we’re good at doing with something that we like doing. This is a trap most of us fall into in the midst of making decisions. A skill can be acquired through lots of training and at the end of that, you’ll be great at it. But the question is, did you enjoy every moment of it? If you could, would you relive the process of it?

2. What do you love talking, learning and teaching others about?

What is that ONE thing that constantly preoccupies your mind? Something that you could spend effortlessly learning about? Ask family and friends that you are close to for help to figure out what is it that you say or do that seems to come naturally from you. Examine how you feel at those moments when you speak about it to others.

3. Examine what you frequently read, shows you watch, places you visit.

What is the common theme? What is it that you spend your time, energy and effort into?  Education? Religion? Philosophy? Political Science? Economy? Does it buzz your soul? Give you that sparkle in your eyes?

4. Take the time to get involved.

“I think I know now, but I’m still really unsure” Look for opportunities that can help you decide. Look for internship opportunities in the line that you might want to pursue, or get involved in volunteer programmes. Industrial training gives one the first-hand exposure to what the industry really looks like. Not only does it help you decide if you’re going to stick in this for the long haul, but it also levels up your resumè in the future. Do not be afraid to take more time off to gain experience - real world experiences teach you things they do not teach you in books.

Passion feels something like when you are motivated so much more than just merely finishing a job, it is doing the very best you can, if not revolutionizing it entirely. Of course, passion can come at a smaller level but still impact your work greatly. When you find it, there’s almost no parting from it, because it is that vibe that pushes you to accomplish things that you’ve never thought you could have done. Build your life around something you love – that is something you would not regret.

The most important thing though, is the satisfaction and joy that you get out of it.

New Year’s Resolutions : Let The Kids Do It Too!

Cheers to the new year and once again we are greeted by the month of January 2014. New beginnings, a new month, and a new school term. The beginning of a year is a great time to make resolutions. It’s good practice and habit which will help children think and reflect on their own goals and directions. Making resolutions with children can be a fun and refreshing feeling and it gives you a chance to get to bond with your child and get to know them well.

Here’s how you can help guide your children on writing resolutions:

1. Teach them the meaning or concept of a resolution.

Explain it to them using the term ‘promise’. In a way, the resolutions made are promises to yourself.

2. Encourage their enthusiasm

Children are enthusiastic and energetic and they might have a loooong list of things they would like to do. Instead of killing their jazz, you could work on their enthusiasm and explain that they could channel that enthusiasm into carrying out their resolution over the whole year.

3. Get them to list their own resolutions

Ah, here comes the tricky part. You could prepare a table or a form on a piece of colored or designed paper with different categories like personal improvement, family and friends and school and the outside world. Let them think and take their time to let them list down what they want to improve. Be patient, and most important of all, resist the urge to set your child’s goals for them. Let them take control and have accountability of their own direction.

4. If their resolutions are too big, help them scale it down. If they’re too simple, help them expand it.

If they end up setting a resolution they cannot adhere to, you can always gently suggest a simpler and easier variation of their resolution. Get them to think about what they plan to do and how they plan to do it.

5. Check and Don’t Nag!

If your child isn’t making progress in achieving a resolution, reaffirm them that it is still possible to achieve. Ask them what is distracting them from fulfilling a resolution and help them get excited about it again.

For Teachers

If you’re a teacher thinking of making this into a lesson, here’s how you can amp it up. The principles are the same and I leave it to your judgement to use this in your lessons. Here’s something I would do :

Just like mentioned earlier on in the article, get your students to write resolutions in different categories ; personal improvement, family and friends, and school and the outside world.

Best resolutions are ones that you are certain you can keep. Get your students to choose three of the resolutions they have listed - one about personal improvement, one about family and friends and one about school and the outside world.

Start by preparing an outline for them to begin drafting. Here’s how it can look like :

1. Write your first paragraph to introduce the topic
2. Describe your personal improvement promise and tell us why you are making it.
3. Describe your family and friends resolution, and tell us why you are making it.
4. Describe your resolution about school and the outside world, and tell us why you are making it.
5. Write your last paragraph and it should restate the topic and sum it up.

Finally, get your students to edit and revise the draft of their new year’s resolution and get them to evaluate their own drafts and getting them to ask themselves some of the questions below ;

• Does your first paragraph make your topic sound interesting? What can I improve on?
• Do your next three paragraphs introduce the topic in an interesting way? Do you clearly explain why you are making these resolutions?
• Does your last paragraph sum up the topic of your whole essay?
• Are your sentences complete? Do the subjects and verbs agree?
• Is your spelling correct?

Finally, complete and write your essay and turn it in.

This plan can be used for upper primary up to lower secondary levels, depending on your student’s abilities. If it doesn’t work out the first time, don’t fret! Be creative! Don’t forget to keep track and don’t nag! All the best!

• Schuman, Wendy. "8 Ways to Help Kids Make New Year's Resolutions." Parents Magazine. Parents Magazine Group, 2 Jan. 2014. Web. 07 Jan. 2014.
• “New Year’s Resolutions.” Teacher Vision.
• Family Education Network, Web. 07 Jan 2014.

Why Asian Parents are obsessed with Academics?

I was having lunch over the weekend with some friends of mine who have children who are from 3 to 18 years old.

And one of them was discussing how worried she was about her daughter getting into a good secondary (high) school through a special 6 year programme that will lead her straight to Junior college. She was worried that her daughter might not have done enough through extra curriculum activities, or was not talented enough to enter those kinds of schools. She felt that she had brought up her daughter well, of good character and attitude but there was a nagging doubt in her mind that her daughter was just not good enough.

Then this morning, I woke up to notice a new video to a youtube channel I subscribe to. Here is the clip

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/FityXzwPBSI" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

I sat in my office today and wondered... why are parents so obsessed about their children having to get into schools of 'Special' stature and why the pressure for them to conform to the World's view of intelligence or success?

Sure we could say that we want what is best for our children. Agreed. No parent should or would want the worst for their child. But I was reminded of this article that I saved a while back that was featured on Yahoo! News. I hope this will help all those teachers and parents out there understand, even if you are unaware, why we are so tough on our children. And maybe... just maybe we can learn to love them more by knowing our flaws.

The original article can be found here:

Originally posted at LeeAhLong.com

Perspective Thinking

Perspective.

We all have one.
Just like how it is illustrated in the graphic beside this paragraph, depending on where we are, perspective decides on how we form opinions of the World around us.

Let me give you one example.

When the Indonesian President, Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono, apologised for causing problems to Singapore and Malaysia for the Indonesian Haze, depending on one's perspective, one could think that he was being generous and honest or he could be perceived as weak and bowing to its neighbors.

Perspective is about knowing where our ideas or views came from and being open to different or other views.

Now why am I writing about this? So often, we hear about people complaining and airing their grievances, and yes, to that person, those grievances could be very valid.

But consider this idea, before airing those grievances, take a step back and think, does it really matter? Is your problem or issue really that large to be made an issue? How does one learn to tell the difference?

Simple Answer: Education at home and school

I spoke to some teachers over the weekend and the general consensus was that students/youths of today, are not taught enough about Perspective Taking. Why that particular skill? It is because as they grow up, they are going to start forming and sticking to certain thinking and mindset on particular opinions. Such as what is their political affiliation or acceptance, their preference in work style and even the type of holidays they go on. Perspective Taking is important to help youths learn to explore all views and not just their own.

I am going to avoid talking about Socratic Questioning in this post, but Perspective Taking is something that is closely linked with that. Youths are very moldable at their current age. Easily influenced and can swing to extremes in terms of support or opposition because they tend to face tunnel vision fairly quickly.

Here is 4 basic steps on how to execute Perspective Taking:

1. When you come into my space, I have a little thought about you and you have a little thought about me.
2. I wonder “why are you near me?,” “what is your purpose for being near me?” “Is it because you are just sharing the space, do you intend to talk to me or do you intend to harm me?” I have to consider all these things in order to keep me safe around people as well as to predict what will happen next.
3. Since we have thoughts about each other, I wonder what you are thinking about me. 
4. To keep you thinking about me the way I would like you to think about me, I monitor and possibly modify my behavior to keep you thinking about me the way I want you to think about me.

Why is this relevant to education? Why must I, as a parent or teacher teach my child/student this skill?

In countries such as the US, where different areas of the country have different ideology, and many a times they may not understand each other's views. So often we have heard about elections, swing votes, etc... what does it all mean? Why does it matter?

Perspective Taking takes us back to the underestimated skill of teaching us on how we should be open to new views all the time. By teaching the young, we are preparing the next generation skills to not look inwardly, but in a global perspective. As the world continues to shrink due to the Internet and we are more and more interconnected through trade, politics and religion, it is important that we do not fall into the complacency that my view is the only view, as often accused by many countries to each other. Rather we should continue to strive for open conversation and debate.

To all parents and teachers:

• Question your child/students.
• Make them think about cause and effect.
• Challenge them to make a better world even if the world says No.

Remember, education is not just about imparting knowledge, it is also teaching them how to gain knowledge. School systems have been guilty of this mistake for many years. Parents have been guilty of leaving it up to schools to equip their children with everything. For too long we teach and educate based on a single set of knowledge, but have we taught how to gain new knowledge? How will they be creative or challenge the status quo? Have we become so cynical of change that we will not teach those skills and letting the child come to his or her conclusion?

I want to give a special mention of my secondary school History teacher of mine.
Yes, I know. History is a humanities subject and involves Perspective Taking but that is not the point. I remember her telling me something which till this day I value. She told me, never accept anything at face value until you have determined it to be so.

Perspective taking is just that. We should never accept one's views wholesale, even when it comes from yourself or from a credible source. Being human, we are prone to mistakes and tunnel vision. Let us go back to the point where we enjoy learning and challenging all views brought to us.

Remember, teaching selectively is not teaching at all.

Don't expect to just teach facts, but teach skills to confirm those facts.

Only then will we be properly adding foundations for our children for the future.